Section 3: Awakening III. The Separation
3.1 The Masculine Ego
The mass of men are hiders, posers, and quitters. Technology and social media has created a real ‘look at me society’. It has infected the minds of men and it is infecting the minds of young men. It has created an addiction to the validation of a man’s image associated with ‘likes’ and the ‘shares’. It has also created and environment full of ‘technology tough guys’. These social media warriors hide behind their keyboards and cast stones at everything that doesn’t fit the agendas they defend and protect. Unfortunately their selective moral outrage typically flies right in the face of family, fatherhood, and God-given, God-inspired masculinity. The mis-understood and mis-guided masculine ego is the demise of a great many men in our world today.
When you hear the word ‘ego’ what do you think? We hear people say all the time, “Wow, look at him. He has a real ego!” The word ego, like the word masculinity, seems to always be used in negative terms these days.
Ego seems to be the term used for a man’s overinflated, lack of any humility view of himself as it relates to the recognition and/or promotion/self-promotion of his accomplishments.
To discover and truly understand something means you are willing to put aside your ignorance and mis-guided judgment of it. Most men are ignorant, as are most women of understanding the masculine ego,
what it is and how a man can use it for the demise of or for the greater good.
The definition of the word ‘ego’ is;
A man’s sense of self-image and personal identity.
We all have an ego. We all have a sense of our self-image and personal identity. Simply put a man’s ego is how he sees himself. Whether his ego is healthy or whether it is not is what he portrays to the world. Is it confidence or is it pride and arrogance? Is it Godliness or is it ungodliness? The man who is a poser focuses on his false image. The real Godly man focuses on his true identity.
3.2 The Divided Ego
There is the healthy use of the masculine ego and then there is the unhealthy use. The unhealthy divided ego creates a barrier separating man and God. In the addiction recovery community lots of people use the acronym of E-G-O to mean Edge God Out. Never has there been a better analogy for a man’s unhealthy use of his ego.
A man’s separation from God is always based on the man’s unhealthy use of his image based on the Divided Ego.
So what do I mean by the term ‘The Divided Ego’?
The masculine ego has 3 parts. All 3 vitally important to the masculine journey.
The first part is; A man’s self-image and personal identity.
The second part is; A man’s self-image and professional identity.
And finally; A man’s self-image and spiritual identity.
Every man has a desire to be recognized for his accomplishments. This masculine validation is one of the quests of a man. Just like the terms ‘masculinity’, and ‘ego’ there is an ignorant and mis-guided opinion about a man’s desire to be recognized as a bad thing. There are 3 problems that can and do often occur when it comes to a man’s masculine ego and his desire for recognition.
First. If his self-image and personal and/or professional identity is based on falsehood and illusion. The poser wants you to see him (your perception of his image)as something he is not. Frustrated and angry men defend the illusion surrounding their false image in the Divided Ego. Just look around.
Second. If his self-image and personal and/or professional identity are based on his desire to feel superior to or control others through demeaning, grandiosity, domination/control, and arrogance. Remember, pride is one of the Seven Deadlys. The arrogance of frustrated and angry men seems to be the norm over confidence.
Third and most importantly. If his self-image and personal identity is void of God.
In Awakening IV, I am going to discuss the many enemies called Goliath we as men face. One of the giant’s primary weapons is a concept called ‘Divide and Conquer’. What this means as it relates to man’s separation from God and the understanding and application of the masculine ego is vitally important. Anything separated from its source eventually loses its power.
‘Divide and Conquer’ means Goliath wins when he separates you from the source of your power, the One Source that matters. If your entire focus is based on the self-image you have associated with your personal and professional image, you have an ungodly Divided Ego. The Divided Ego is incomplete and lacks its full potential.
In the world of ‘Look At Me, I Am _______’, a man’s solution lies in his understanding of how to finish this sentence and unify his ego.
3.3 The Unified Ego
The poser’s sense of self-image and identity lacks substance when the 3 parts of his ego are separate and independent. Again, all 3 of the parts are important, but they lack their full potential when they stand alone. If self-image and identity is built on just his career (professional ego)and his stuff (personal ego)...... or the illusion he creates for others to see, again independent and separated from the One Source, it will always lack its full potential.
The goal should be to understand the independence of the parts, plus their potential and power when all 3 work harmoniously together. Unifying personal identity, professional identity, and spiritual identity creates a powerful interdependence. Interdependence means they effectively and efficiently work together.
When I stepped into my life as an author, a podcast host, and a course creator, I listened to lots of messages ‘from the experts’ about the concepts of personal branding and self-promotion. 99% of the messages from the ‘influencers’ focus on the perception around a man’s professional image and the mis-understood personal growth it takes to build that professional image. Let me tell you, posers focus on the perception of an ‘image’. The real goal should be the presentation of a message based on true identity through the Unified Ego. A poser focuses on perception of image, the real Godly man focuses on truth and identity.
A man’s personal and professional identity will always lack its full potential until it is unified with his spiritual identity.
I can think I have the greatest most transformational message in the world that can serve millions of people. But if it is built on perception of image and not truth, like it says in the Bible, it is seed sown on rocky soil. I can promote my personal image, I can promote my professional image, but my image had best be built on a foundation of truth of identity. The world is full of posers who focus on image. Just look around.
God created men competitive. There’s nothing wrong with being stronger, smarter, having more money than others. While there are extremes, capitalism is a system that creates competition. Again, God created men competitive. The great advancements throughout history are made by competitive men. I am exponentially competitive. The best way to get me to do something is to tell me you don’t think I can. “I’ll show you!”, right?
The problem is most men are competing for the wrong things. I know I did for years. I had a Divided Ego that was based on my self-image and professional image. More money, more stuff, more complexity for me meant less God. I had a Divided Ego and found addiction as a means to deal with my frustration and anger. There are lots of men just like me. Just look around
My solution was making peace with my Divided Ego. I repeat this over and over. Peace in the Bible means a Oneness with God, and I found peace in unifying my ego. Again, there are 3 parts to a man’s ego. His personal identity, his professional identity, and most importantly his spiritual identity. The Unified Ego is the interdependence, meaning the harmonious connection of all 3. The Unified Ego is of God and most importantly because of God.
Years ago, my mother gave me the book, The Dream Giver, by Bruce Wilkinson. This book has been a vital part of what I call my great awakening. Again, awakening means; becoming suddenly aware of something... and I’ll add my part, “that’s been there all along waiting to be discovered”. The entire message in the book is that our purpose in life is to do something so huge that it is sure to fail without God’s help. Then go tell people not what you have done, but what God did to help you.
Earlier I said, “In the world of ‘Look At Me, I Am _______’, a man’s solution lies in his understanding of how to finish this sentence and unify his ego.” Well, here’s how to finish the sentence:
“Look at me. I Am A More Powerful Me Because Of My Most Powerful God”.
Again, the Divided Ego focuses on the perception of image. The Unified Ego focuses on the interdependence of a man’s true personal, professional, and spiritual identity.
3.4 The Modern-Day Prodigals
The story of the prodigal son in the Bible is about a young man who leaves his home and squanders the gifts his father has given him. God the Father has given each of us a great many gifts. The first great gift being our masculine soul. In Awakening VI, I am going to discuss God’s gift of your true identity and the power in your personality. Your personality is the unique combination and sequence of your CORE Strengths, your CORE Values, and your CORE Emotions.
To ‘squander’ means to waste or to use foolishly.
The world is full of frustrated and angry men who are squandering God’s gifts to them by sheer ignorance. If you never heard of the Unified Ego and the Power in Your Personality as it relates to your true identity, you would squander in ignorance. Again, ignorance is not a judgement of someone. It just means that they don’t know. You don’t know what you don’t know. You can’t put into practice what you don’t know. By the end of this book, you will be armed with some powerful information and ignorance will not be an excuse for you any longer.
The real challenge then for you will be to ‘know and do or not do’.
At one of the most challenging times in my life, my battle with addiction, I was convinced God had abandoned me. I was squandering God’s gifts and it seemed the faster I moved the greater became the separation between me and God. I was convinced I needed to be defending an image of a successful husband, father, and businessman, but I was failing. I felt like a failure and believed I was. My business was crumbling, my marriage was coming apart at the seams. My American Dream was a HUGE American Nightmare. I asked myself, “Where did God go? How could He love an addict like me?”
Here's what I know. If God is anything, He is consistent. God never goes anywhere. He is a continuum of Power. God is The One Source Of Power that we can wander away from and always make our way back to. God waits for us modern-day prodigals who get consumed by self and leave the Source to return. It’s like we are a powerful motor that requires God’s electricity. We have to learn that our cord is only so long. When we run out of cord, the source of our power ceases. And just like the father in the parable, God awaits and celebrates our return.
God’s love for you is constant. There is nothing you can ever do that should ever prevent you from returning to the Father. There is nothing you could ever do that could make Him love you any less. Our separation from God is always because of us and never because of Him. It doesn’t matter how or what created the separation, God is always waiting on our return.
The Great Awakening III.
The word ‘Awakening’ means to become suddenly aware of something. And I will add my part as I always do, “that’s been there all along waiting for you to discover it”. God is consistent. The Separation is always our fault and is the result of our Divided Ego. This is Awakening III.
